gods for the modern age: baron samedi
laugh in the face of death. treat life like a carnival—chase girls, smoke cigars, drink yourself blind, and never pass up the chance for a dirty joke. keep the dead in the ground and the dying from harm’s reach. save lives, lift curses, hand out favours and come back to collect—and smile, smile as you dig the graves of those who wrong you.
"You’re 6’4", 240-pound Marine, and you’re injured, and you need a Marine next to you to carry you back to safety, and the Marine next to you is a 5’4" woman who weighs 115 pounds,"
in before “well most women can’t do that” because NEWS FLASH most men can’t either, that’s why it’s a highly specialized career that requires a lot of devoted training
One of my former coworkers was a very slim girl only a tad taller than me, and she was training to be a fireman, and she could lift the biggest dude on my crew like this who was around 6’5 and super bulky.One time she picked him up and ran around the crew room with him for about 5 minutes before letting him down.
Even though I haven’t exercised in over a year—if you count DDR—and I’m incredibly petite (5’0”, 100 lbs), I can carry most guys. If they’re under 200 lbs, I can run with them on my back for 5 blocks, but I can walk for a mile. Once they’re about 250, I can only walk about a block or two before my spine feels like it’s about to break. If I were in a survival situation and their life depended on it, I could go on much further, until my legs gave out.
It’s why I hate the bullshit that women are inherently weak. Nah, man. Nah.
So yeah, for the record: women are not significantly weaker than men. Especially if we talk about people with lots of training in terms of fighting and/or saving lives. Especially especially if we consider that there are techniques and moves, like this one, specifically designed for smaller people to handle some heavy weight.
A video made for the Museum of Cluny, and its “The Sword: Uses, Myths and Symbols” exhibit. It tries to dispel some of the beliefs that are still prevalent today about the weight and mobility of fighters in plate armor and show some of the techniques used in combat against armored opponents
I’m always pleased to see videos like this. It’s as if people won’t believe unless they’re shown (and there are always some who go “ah, yes, well, in aluminium stage armour it’s easy.”)
Well, the Museum Cluny video, like the Royal Armoury demo team, uses real steel armour: those two pictures at the start show the originals; the video uses reproductions because no curator will let someone take two exhibits from his museum and roll them around on flagstones. Mike Loades in the UK has been doing similar armour demonstrations for years, as has Tobias Capwell of the Wallace Collection. Eventually the old “clunky, immobile, in with a wrench, out with a can-opener” image of plate armour will go away – but I won’t hold my breath. (That shade of purple isn’t a good complexion anyway…)
Even the faster demonstrations of these combat techniques are still dialled back to about half speed. Try to visualise how much quicker and more brutal this would be if the two fighters meant business, when the first rule was Do It To Him As Quickly As Possible Before He Does It To You.
Writer and swordsman Guy Windsor writes about doing motion-capture work for a computer game; his completely authentic techniques couldn’t be used because they were so small, fast and economical. The game needed big swashing movements because the real thing looked unrealistic, too insignificant to be effective…
You won’t see a “killing fight” (full speed, full power, full intent) recreated very often, either on documentaries or in museum exhibitions, because it’s very, very dangerous for (when you think about it) obvious reasons. These techniques from 600-year-old fight manuals were how men in armour maimed and killed other men in armour - and since they’re the original material, not a re-interpretation after 600 years of being diluted down to sport-safe levels, the techniques will still maim and kill men in armour. Even a blunt “safe” sword is pointed enough (first demo on the video, 1:54-59) to go into a helmet’s eye-slot and through the skull inside…
But if you’re lucky enough to see a full-speed demo between fighters in real armour using wasters (wooden practice swords), be prepared to pick your jaw up from the floor. It is awesome. And also as scary as hell.
Comments on comments:
"Pretty much proof positive that the people who claim that skimpy female fantasy armor is for increased maneuverability don’t know what they’re talking about."
They know exactly what they’re talking about. They want to see T&A on fantasy game and book covers, and since they don’t have the balls to be honest about it, this is their excuse.
“It amazes me that the old saws about Western armour and techniques are still going about, because surely two minutes’ thought would let you know that of course knights had to be able to get up off the ground… Europeans were wearing armour for centuries, why wouldn’t they develop techniques of fighting in it?”
It’s easier to laugh (do the same people laugh about samurai?) and repeat what “everyone knows about armour" than it is to waste that two minutes thought. Thinking might reveal something to mess with set opinions, and that would be annoying…
“Biggest pet peeve: People commenting on the weight and shape of armour restricting mobility…”
As before - “everybody knows" that European armour is massive and clunky because that’s what "everybody knows.” God forbid they should ever apply the “if it was so useless then why was it used" logic to anything. Because then they might realise that what "everybody knows" is wrong.
I’m going off to (not) hold my breath for a while… :-P
I saw this video in the fascinating special exhibit at Cluny last time we were in Paris. So pleased to be able to have it on tap, because it was most excellent.
As previously mentioned, the most important factors in considering armor design for a character are:
- What does it have to protect them against?
- What do they have to be able to do?
- What is available?
These suits are show casing some great armor made for a person who needs to protect themselves against swords and arrows, fight and lead troops on the battlefield and had access to a lot of money and an skilled armorer. Unsurprisingly, they are super practical for their intended purpose.
The argument that they might wanted to trade off protection for a little more speed doesn’t hold up because once these guys got into battle it was simply ridiculous to think they’d be able to keep track everywhere an attack might come from.
Basically if you want to survive a battle, you want to be as well protected as possible, and as that video shows: The upper limit to how well protected you can be and still move freely is pretty damn high!
Please tell me if any of the links aren’t workingFaces:Hair:Bodies:Clothes and Accessories:Creatures:Animals/insects:Objects:Nature/Food:Colours:Other:
This is fantastic!!
i dont think you guys appreciate how rad this site is
because first of all you got your basic fantasy and game race names for like
BUT AS IF THAT ISN’T ENOUGH
REAL NAMES WHICH ARE GOOD FOR BOOKS
AND THIS THERE’S MORE????
BAM, PLACE NAMES
AND STILL MORE
SO YOU SEE THESE LITTLE OPTIONS HERE
GO AND TRY TO HELP A GOOD PERSON OUT
A simple PSA, lest your tail-sporting character look like they’re walking around with a really long poop hanging out of their pants.
The second one is actually anatomically correct. You’d have to either have a second spinal extremity, de-attach the spine from the sacrum, or somehow get rid of the entire sacrum—which is a large chunk of the pelvis and one of the last bones in the spine. It’s the bone that supports the spine and attaches it to the pelvis. Without it, you destabilize the entire skeleton. It’s that hard place nestled between our booty cheeks that always makes us uncomfortable on hard seating.
The tail would logically extend from the sacrum—that’s where the coccyx protrudes from. The tiny tail piece left over from our ancestors. That’s where the tail protrudes from on non-humans, and yeah, that makes it a “butthole tail.”
Sorry to add the commentary but I study anatomy and it’s hard to overlook stuff like this. I feel that misinformation should be stopped whenever possible.
- How bodies decompose
- Wilderness survival skills
- Mob mentality
- Other cultures
- What it takes for a human to die in a given situation
- Common tropes in your genre
- Average weather for your setting